


Hold Me While I Cry

by awkwardCerberus



Series: HideKane That Should Have Happened [3]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff and Angst, Hide Is The Best Boyfriend, I just want them to be happy, Kagune, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Shironeki | White-haired Kaneki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 15:14:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6381469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardCerberus/pseuds/awkwardCerberus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He never, ever, wanted to hear the phrase, "nine hundred ninety-three", coming from those lips.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Me While I Cry

**Author's Note:**

> Again, part of my HideKane series, so if you have a prompt you want filled send it in and I'll try and fill it.

Splatters of blood on a checkered floor; a red dome ceiling that rose into darkness; screaming. He knew where he was. Off in a dark corner, someone let out an animalistic scream.

“I can't hear you!” Yamori. “What's one thousand minus seven?!”

Panting. The sound of bones snapping off between a pair of pliers. A shaky voice, “nine…nine hundred ninety-three…”

More snapping; Yamori gave a disappointed sigh, “ooh…your fingers don't grow back. That's not as fun!”

Another scream.

Kaneki wanted to plug his ears, the screaming never stopped. When he went to reach up to plug his ears, his hand wouldn't move. He looked down and wanted to scream himself. He was laying on the floor, with layers of heavy chains wrapped around his wrists and more chains snaked down around his ankles. But he couldn't scream; there was a rag stuffed so far back in his throat he was almost gagging.

“N-Nine hundred…eighty-six…nine hundred seventy-nine…”

There was the sickening plop of dismembered fingers landing in a bucket. Yamori clacked his pliers in the air and laughed again, “I won't cut off your toes quite yet. I want to make my fun last, you see. The last ghoul I had fun with, I did this to him, and he _loved_ it.”

There was a pause as Yamori plucked something from a glass beaker. The person he was toying with had begun to mumble a breathy litany of “no, no please, don't, I'm begging you, please don't do this to me”. Jason laughed again, and the sound of his footsteps made it obvious he was walking a circle around the other person.

“The Chinese red-headed centipede. It makes such a lovely sound in someone’s ear,” there was a small chuckle.

A spotlight from somewhere overhead shone down on torturer and victim. Streaks of blood and grime caked a ball of blonde hair; a yellow and black jacket was so stained with blood the colors were almost indistinguishable; cargo shorts that were so ripped and soiled that they could no longer be called clothes. A pair of orange and white sneakers lay in a puddle of blood next to a pair of smashed orange headphones.

From where he was stuck on the floor, Kaneki had begun to scream against his gag, and tried to wriggle uselessly out of his chains. One word repeatedly screamed through his mind: _Hide_.

He was lying helpless on the floor, watching while Yamori jammed a centipede into the ear of the one person he loved in the world. Watching while he grabbed Hide's foot and snapped off toes like they were toothpicks. Watching while Hide screamed out numbers and cried until his voice was hoarse. Watching his boyfriend's blood spill onto the floor like water from a faucet.

Then, as if on cue, Hide looked away from Yamori and directly at Kaneki—his pleading eyes were bloodshot and tracks of tears cut away at the dried blood on his face. They were no longer a lively hazel, the color had been drained from the irises until there were a washed out shade of grey-brown. There was no life in them.

Yamori turned around, smiling at Kaneki from ear to ear, as he resumed cutting off Hide's toes. Jason laughed, and Hide continued screaming. Kaneki started screaming, too. They were all screaming.

…

“Kaneki! Kaneki! _Wake up_!”

His eyes shot open, and his first thought was to fight, but something was holding his wrists down over his head. Everything was a swimming blur, and he was pinned on the floor by something sitting on his hips. The weight on top of him was shaking him, and yelling something, but he was to preoccupied with trying to fight.

Without thinking, Kaneki locked his elbows and threw his hips to the side—sending both him and the other person rolling across the room and into the wall. The other person stood up on their knees, rubbing their forehead; Kaneki was in a defensive position on all fours. His kagune had come out—the sharpened tentacles aiming themselves at the person across from him.

“Kaneki, babe, it's Hide; you're alright. It was just a nightmare. Kay? You're home.”

Everything in his body froze; Kaneki’s mind ran a blank for a long moment before finally realizing what had happened. His kagune went slack and fell to the floor before retracting altogether. He couldn't take his eyes off Hide, he could feel his ghoul eye changing back to normal already, but he couldn't look away. He wanted to run over to Hide and hold him and make sure he was unharmed, but he found himself paralyzed on the spot.

Kaneki hadn't realized he was holding his breath until suddenly Hide was holding him and coaxing him to relax. When it all caught up to him, Kaneki practically collapsed against Hide’s chest—his arms wrapping around the blonde's back and gripping at Hide's shirt until his knuckles couldn't get any whiter. His breath hitched in the back of his throat and suddenly he couldn't hold back the tears that stung his eyes.

Kaneki looked up at the blonde, immediately noticing the red bump that was starting to form on Hide's forehead from where he had hit the wall. The realization that he had hurt Hide slammed into him. He hurt Hide. After that nightmare about not being able to save Hide, _he had hurt Hide_.

The ghoul buried his face in the blonde's neck, shaking against the shrill cries and desperate hiccups for air. Hide had begun to rub circles into Kaneki’s back while the ghoul continued to cry into his shirt.

“I'm sorry, Hide, I'm sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please, I'm so so sorry…” there pause a paused where the ghoul paused to make an attempt to catch his breath, “I didn't mean to hurt you…I'm so sorry…”

“Hey, Kaneki, look at me,” Hide slid a finger under the ghoul’s chin and tipped his face up to meet his own eyes, “I'm not hurt. I'm right here, and I'm not gonna go anywhere.”

After several minutes of sitting on the floor holding the half ghoul, Hide finally decided to move back to the bed. He already had an arm around Kaneki’s back, and with one fluid motion, he slid his other arm under the other's knees and picked him up. Moving didn't seem to affect Kaneki; he simply curled into Hide's chest more. Hide knelt over Kaneki on the bed, running his thumbs under the ghoul’s eyes to wipe away the tears. He leaned forward and pressed several soft kisses onto Kaneki's forehead.

“Do you want me to make you some coffee?”

“…no.”

“Do you want to go back to sleep?”

“…no.”

“How ‘bout we just lay here then?”

“…yeah.”

Hide took off his shirt and laid back down on the bed—naked, aside from his boxers. Kaneki's arms wrapped around Hide's torso—one hand pausing just slightly over the scar on Hide’s side from where he had been wounded in the Anteiku raid. His legs tangled up with Hide's, and Kaneki buried his face in the crook of the blond’s neck. One of Hide's arms came to rest on Kaneki’s back, with his hand reaching up enoigh so that he could run it through the ghoul's white hair.

Hide looked down at his boyfriend who had latched onto his side, “are you okay?”

The ghoul shook his head and closed his eyes, “no.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

The ghoul shook his head again, “no.”

Hide shrugged, “alright.”

He pressed a sweet, long, gentle kiss onto the top of Kaneki's head. He fell asleep a few minutes later, to the sound of Kaneki's quick breaths and his warm hold.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Mistakes are mine; this was unbeta'd.


End file.
